Journal- February 16, 1980
February 16, 1980
Dear Journal,
I have been super busy so I did not write every day last week. My days can be very busy. Monday through Friday I go to school all day. I have a very long bus ride. I catch the bus around 6:30 am, and school starts around 8 something. Even though I do not like to ride the bus so long, I do like to talk with my friends and read books on the bus on the way to school. Mostly I talk with Tina K., Julie B., Carmen and Elena. Sometimes I talk to Reuben or the Davids, but they are tired when they get on the bus. They have been moving pipes in the alfalfa fields since 4:30 am. They get up so early! I love my friends. They are super nice kids. They don’t speak Spanish around me too much, so I know what they are saying. Tina K, Julie B. and me are not Mexican or Spanish. We are also blondes.
I Hate PE!
At school I have PE every day. I hate PE. We are mixed up with the boys, and I stink at most sports, so I am chosen last pick most of the time. I am afraid of the ball, and almost everything has a ball! The only time I get picked first is when we do relays or track. I am the fastest girl runner in my class, so they always want me on their running team. We don’t do that very often, so most of the time I am just stuck out there in the field or on the court feeling scared and embarrassed. I hate PE.
I Love Choir and Miss Kesler!
I love choir! My choir teacher is Miss. Kesler and I love her. She has beautiful red hair. She wears pretty shoes called pumps, and pretty skirts and blouses and sweaters. She wears a pearl necklace. When I grow up I want a pearl necklace. She is sophisticated and calm. I want to be that way too. Miss Kesler likes me and is nice to me. She likes my voice, and I like hers. I sing 1st Soprano. Those are the really high notes in choir. I like that I can hit those notes easily. But I always try my best! Choir is easy and fun. Unlike PE. I hate PE!
The Dreaded Bus
On the way home from school I don’t usually goof around with my friends too much. We get home around 4:40 pm. That is like really late, so I try to do all my homework on the bus. It isn’t always very neat, but if you can read it, then turn it in! Sometimes I laugh with my friends, but also there are big kids on the afternoon bus. They are on the morning bus too, but they mostly ignore us, and sleep in the back of the bus. After school they are awake and like to tease us. They like to tease me! Sometimes Lena rides the bus home, so they never tease me when she is there. She is a good big sister and very, very tall. She is almost 6 feet tall! I am only 5 feet 2 inches tall! That is tall for 12, but not tall like Lena. The older boys all flirt with her, and I am proud of her that she is popular.
Beth can drive herself to school
Beth doesn’t ride the bus. Well, hardly ever because she got her driver’s license. She is a good driver! She is very popular and sometimes stays after school, so Lena comes home on the bus with me. Beth usually drives her and Lena to the High School. It is not in the same town as my elementary school. Did I tell you Journal, that I am in 6th grade? I am not the tallest girl in 6th grade. That would be Liz. She is almost 6 feet tall too!
Oh ya! So on the afternoon bus there are twin boys in high school who ride home with us. They are identical twins and so dreamy. They are named Tom and Steve W. Steve is goofy and fun. Tom is more quiet and shy. I like tom. But I can never talk around him. When he gets on the bus I just can’t talk! My mouth and tongue do not work! I just turn red! I can talk to Steve and say “Hi” and stuff. But for Tom, all I can do is smile at him, turn red and I feel so retarded. Sorry. Bad word. I feel so stupid! Maybe someday I will get up the guts to talk to Tom W. Maybe.
Love,
Cynthia
Hindsite:
I remember the days of feeling awkward around a special boy and feeling insecure about well, just about everything! I was gawky and uncoordinated. My body seldom felt like it would do what I wanted it to do. Sometimes I hid my nose in a book on the way to school because it was an escape from reality, and at times that reality was hiding from the other kids on the bus. I liked them, but they had all grown up together. I had only lived in the canyon for a year, and so I still felt a little out of place. The other kids lived in the valley; mostly on farms. Plus, I had moved from the city, so this was a whole new world to me.
February 18, 1980
Dear Journal,
So I was telling you about me and my life. My favorite day of the week is Friday! I love Fridays because it is the last day for the week of school! There is no homework on Fridays! Yeah! The most favorite thing I love to do on Fridays is spend the night at someone’s house or have someone spend the night at my house. I have four more days to wait until Friday! Today is Monday and most people are cranky on Mondays! Did I tell you that today is Monday? My mom and Beth were both cranky today. I was rushing to get out of the house to get away from their meany-ness.
Sundays
Oh, so I am not allowed to spend the night on Saturdays because the next day is Sunday and we go to church. I like to go to church because I can see Ben D.! He is so cute! He lives in another town and I only see him on Sundays. Sunday can be pretty busy. We go to church, but it takes half a hour to get there. My mom sometimes drives fast to get us there on time! She is a scary driver! Now that Beth is driving, she sometimes lets Beth drive, but not when we are late. We are late a lot! Church lasts for 3 hours. But not all at one meeting! We go to Sunday School class and Singing time too. My dad goes early to church because he drives his work truck to church. He does part of his aqueduct route before church. Then after church he does the other half before he comes home. I know he hates working on Sundays, but at least his job lets him go to church!
Secrets
I will tell you a secret. I have $20.36 saved up. I am saving my money for a pair of riding boots! I love to ride my pony Ginger. I ride her bareback. That is fun, but slippery when she trots! I want a pair of riding boots or cowgirl boots. I will look like a professional rider when I get those boots! Another secret is that I do not like to listen to scary ghost stories, but I like to think about some and make some up! Then I can tell my friends at sleep overs! I like to scare them. I do not like to be scared!
Sometimes I think about what I will do when I grow up. I think about who I will marry. Will he be dreamy? I also like to think about fun things to do on Saturdays and about Christmas. It is a long, long ways away. I also think about what it would be like to be a movie star like Farrah Faucett. I also wish I could do my chores faster! I also think about what my own kids will be like when I grow up to be a mommy. I am going to be a nice mommy and not scream at my kids.
Worries
Sometimes I worry about stuff. I worry about not getting invited to a slumber party on a Saturday and missing out on all the fun! I worry that I wont be beautiful when I grow up. I worry about what my teachers think about my homework. I worry about not being popular and kids talking behind my back. I worry about what other kids are thinking about me. Do they think I am smart? I am smart. Do they think I am too smart, so they don’t like me? My Reading, Writing and Math classes are all advanced and I do 7th grade work with the 7th graders. Are some of my friends jealous of me? I wish I could just skip a grade and then I wouldn’t look so smart. What do you think Journal?
Love,
Cynthia
Hindsite:
I was a worrier and a thinker. I believe that most kids worry about a lot more than they let us know about. Don’t just listen to your kid, ask specific questions. Then listen and don’t interrupt when they answer. Show that you are interested in their thoughts and feelings, even if you think it is silly.